I am so.freaking.sick. of trying to eat more. Eating makes me hurt. it makes my mouth hurt. it makes my stomach hurt. It makes my gums hurt. I feel like I ate all day today.
I am in tears over this. I will never meet 1200 calories. I'm just so sick of it. maybe I will have a yogurt in a bit and IDK what else. 


Have I mentioned my hair is falling out? It is.  Assuredly because I can't eat anything.

My throat is swollen and I can barely swallow. I woke up feeling pretty bad today and headed out anyway because I had some stuff I needed to do.  Jonas and I went to Wendy's and got Jason some lunch because I didnt want to pack this morning. Jonas, as always, got a chocolate milk. We get to Jasons work, and Jonas spills it EVERY.WHERE. I made him strip naked and ride that way. I stopped at a thrift store, made him wear my hoodie and got him more clothes. I also scored a ton of vintage crochet thread for $5.  I also got 2 books, The Perfect Storm and Storm of the Century for .50 each. We then went to Walgreens to get my NEW antibiotics since the others didnt work. Again.  Then we headed to Mcdonalds to steal use of their playroom without buying anything.  buy a bottle of water. Before we went in I took this enormous antibiotic called Septra. HUGE. I have to eat with it, so it says, so I decide to buy myself a chicken breast plain. I order and before I can even sit down, I'm feeling like I gotta puke. And boy.. did I ever. I have never puked so violently in my life. Not even when I started taking Cymbalta. So, luckily I was wearing baggy sport capris so it didnt get on my clothing much and I cleaned up, and went to wash my face to find out I had busted blood vessels in both eyes and petechia all over my face, including several large ones around my eyes. I look like a freak. Jonas played for a bit, and we headed to kroger where I found Skyline Chili in a can. it seriously took all of the restraint I posses to not buy it all and hoard it. I only didnt because I wasn't sure how it would taste. I have a homemade recipe but it takes 5 hours (Not counting overnight) to make it. Of course, I couldn't taste it to tell how close it was to mine, which I think is the most perfect food ever. But, Jason says its close enough, but mine is thicker. I can add cornstarch so I'm just psyched I dont have to invest half a day next time I want to make some.   I ate as much as I could, cut the septra in half and took it AFTER food and I still want to vomit, but I havent so ok. I'm going to crochet some bookmarks and try to sleep. Bleh.