I just realized I didn't eat today. I was around food plenty - I cooked 3 meals for Jonas, a snack and dinner for Jason.
It's hard to explain - I just dont care about food anymore.
I could have easily gone to bed without eating (Im about to go eat some won tons) and slept happily. Its like a chore that I would just rather forget.
I don't think I'm anorexic - I don't fret over my weight or think "OH MY GOD I CANT EAT" - I just don't care and don't think about it.
Most days I DO eat. And make no mistake - never a day goes by without milk and multiple lattes (Starbucks, or home) so I am getting some calories even if they're crap. Can someone live on milk? Not sure. Pretty sure I do. At least it keeps my sugar from going too low.
How in the hell did I go from 400 lbs to food just being something else I have to find time for in my day?
Some days I do crave food - what I wouldn't give to make and enjoy my stroganoff right now. It's just not worth the effort to cook it and then not even be able to taste it. Coffee is the only thing I can really taste. I eat the won tons because they're soft and full of carbs and protein.
I didn't mean for this to be a bitchfest - its just weird how much things changed
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I don't say this often enough, but my husband is an amazing, amazing person.
I see so many other people go through hard times financially, health wise, depression wise and their marriages fall apart.
Not one time, ever, has Jason made my life even a little harder because I'm sick. Not once has he complained about picking up the slack. Not once has he complained about any of this. He goes out of his way to make my life easier most of the time. There were weeks he was working 60 hours a week and then coming home to do chores because I hurt too badly to get out of bed.
When I was at my worst, (and could barely get out of bed for 3-4 months) he would wake up before work, make Jonas breakfast and pack a lunch cooler with food for us so I wouldn't have to go downstairs until he got home - as if I could have made it anyway.
I do complain because sometimes he does things that normal people do, but it's never been because I'm sick/depressed/stressed out.
I married a good man.