I don't know whats worst honestly.

Not being able to eat because I'm in so much pain, or not wanting to eat because everything taste like oil and dirt.

I tried to eat a egg and it was gritty and horrible. I tried to eat blueberry loaf. Dirt. Toast? Dirt. It all just tastes terrible.
i think it's the solu-medrol from the hospital:

Solu-Medrol (methylprednisolone) side effects feeling short of breath; severe depression, unusual thoughts or behavior,  sleep problems (insomnia), mood changes; bad taste in mouth, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising or discoloration; increased sweating; headache, dizziness, spinning sensation; nausea, stomach pain, bloating; or

Im depressed. I'm sick of being sick. So many of you knew me before I got sick. its been so long. SO LONG.  I cant do this anymore. I am done being sick. I can't do it. I just don't have it in me. Some days I wake up angry that I even woke up. I'm going to snuggle my boy and sleep and hope I feel better tomorrow.